Long Weekend, Long Range Plans

My biggest challenge these days is the need to cushion myself from stress, from things that sap my optimism and energy. Work has gotten busy, and I woke up thinking about it. Then I came downstairs to my quiet, early morning home office, which is usually my haven. The same Male Someone who was hurtful last week left a message in my e-mail box, sounding manic. Then another e-mail hit. He is full of “revelations” that make sense only to him. I feel sick in the pit of my stomach. My only revelation is that he is getting sicker, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Is it selfish to want to write in spite of the chaos that swirls around me? Despite the guilt that I sometimes wrestle with, I know that for me writing is sanity preserving and life affirming. And have I mentioned fun?

I hang onto the dream of a life that lets me write full time, but I was given serious pause by something I read today. Hope Clark, of Funds for Writers, wrote a small editorial on going freelance. Her advice for making the big break included having enough funds for a half-year of bills, having a decent health insurance plan, and being able to estimate your full-time income from your part-time efforts. This advice is both wise and discouraging.

Six months’ worth of bills: my mind doesn’t want to calculate that intimidating sum! The excesses of our twenties (credit card spending: young people take heed!) are haunting us into our forties. We are chipping away at our debt, but progress is painfully slow. I do have an ace card: when the time comes to go freelance, I can get medical writing work while I pursue more of the writing that I love. But what’s the point of making a big break if I am simply doing what I do now, but in my basement?

Obviously, I need to spend less and save more, something that is so much more easily said than done. But it can be done. It fits so well, too, with my belief that my life requires more simplicity. More dinners home, more “no” responses to invitations, more hours (okay, I’ll settle for minutes!) on the porch.

I was inspired by the book Choosing Simplicity years ago. The authors surveyed people who made conscious decisions to cut down on their chaos quotient. This wasn’t a new spin on the rural flower child movement: for some people simplicity meant country living, for others it was moving to the city so they could walk everywhere. For some it was growing their own produce, for others it was job sharing. The book is a great reminder that there is more than one way to simplify and save. It’s time to dust it off again.

Hope Clark’s advice to measure your freelance income capacity by the part-time writing you produce now is a call to action for me. I submitted a piece yesterday, but my serious submissions to decent paying markets are few and far between. It’s time to get serious. While I pine for a book contract I need to write some “bread and butter” pieces. How-to articles seem to be my strong sellers. I had better start advising the world, and quick!

I have come around to my Saturday morning optimism again. There’s a lot to do, but on this long weekend I have 4 days open before me. I look forward to swim lessons with Gavin, shopping with Mom, a July 4th party, an overdue outing with a friend. Hopefully we will dust off the deck and have some quiet family time, too. I’m already scheming for some writing time on Monday or Tuesday.